No really I'm still here...

Wow. Doesn't look like I do much with this blog does it? I have been checking to see if anyone knows I exsist, but that is about it.

I have been a little low on the creative juices these last couple months. Although I had these great plans for spiritual growth this summer, create a strategic plan for the upcoming school year, keep up with my blog, etc. etc. None of that really happened. I'm lazy. Would it be sacreligious to quote, "the heart is willing but the body is weak?" No I guess not. But it is still an excuse.

I feel like I have been drifting, spiritually speaking, most of the summer. Not much of a force driving me. Not much of a direction leading me. I fear that I have been just "keeping up appearances." That I have survived as a youth pastor simply by the grace of God and unfortunately on my natural talents. I am beginning to understand that God will bless my work for His own glory and His love for the kids. And many times in spite of me and my shortcomings.

Ah, glorious mediocrity! I am hoping that something is boiling under the surface, that I will soon find new life and growth where I used to see only dry stagnacy. But then I think that I am only fooling myself. Can God work with just desire, my desire? I want to grow closer, but is 'want' enough? I tend to think no. There also must be action behind that want. Right? At least that is what I tell my students.

I am finding myself caught in that awkward space of not following my own spiritual advice. While I am telling my students to spend time with God, I myself am doing a very poor job of it. Hmm...