Friday, May 20, 2005

The Reality of My Dreams

Dreams. We all have them right? I mean just the other night I had this really weird dream where I had to go the bathroom but couldn't seem to find a bathroom with any privacy. Yes, it was rather disturbing. And how come whenever I'm the hero in my dream and I go to punch the bad guy my muscles don't work? My entire arm doesn't work for that matter. What is up with that?

Actually these are not the dreams I was originally referring to. I mean those things that spur us on to greater heights. The fuel that revs up our resolve. The mental picture that we perspire toward. You get the picture. Dream: an aspiration, hope, goal, aim, objective, grail.

I recently gave a graduation commencement address that caused me to think once again of 'dream'. Of course I spoke of following the dreams that God has set in the heart, and in doing so truly shining your light before men for all to see and give praise to our Father (Matt 5:16). As I was preparing the talk, and evaluating it afterward, I got to thinking about my own dreams.

I used to have a motto in life: I take my dreams to be reality, 'cause God believes in the reality of my dreams. As with many things, that motto has faded a bit. It is as if I put it in a cigar box with many other treasured things and put it up out of reach in the back of the top shelf in the closet. I pulled it out and shined it up to show the graduates, but in doing so was reminded of a younger me, a more 'dreamy' me. I am having to ask myself if I still take my dreams to be reality. There is an echo ringing as the question bounces around in my soul. It makes its way back and asks: do I still dream?

Do I plan? Yes, I am in the process of planning a large, week-long series for the youth in our area. Do I strategize? Yes, I am trying to develop a process whereas students find ministries they can participate in. Do I program, project, intend, draw, layout, illustrate, formulate? Yes, but. The base question is: do I still dream?

Well, frankly no not really. OK, maybe I don't need new dreams, what about the old ones I used to have? Have I revisited them? Hmmm... not in a while they look pretty dusty. Can God still believe in the reality of something that isn't there any more?

I don't have the answers yet. But I can tell you one thing: Tonight I'm gonna make sure I go the bathroom before I fall asleep.

Friday, May 13, 2005

In the beginning

In the beginning of what? What should it look like? What will it become? Does it really matter, or should I just focus on the journey instead of the destination, the process instead of the final product.

That sounds like a good start...

Inspired by several others out there blogging their way to sanity I thought it would be good to join in on the fun. After all if everyone jumped off a bridge wouldn't you as well? If you didn't it would be awfully lonely you know. Ha, mom didn't think of that, did she?

Can there be more than whimsical nonsense written on a screen? Can there be purpose? Redemption? Re:generation? I hope to find out.

Here is a thought that came to me tonight at a bible study with some youth from our group:

When is the last time I actually thought about eternity? I mean stopped talking and thought about eternity and myself in it? I couldn't remember. I have talked about it, read about it, but I can't remember when I have thought about it for me. 'Cause when you do it puts things into a different perspective.

Like this for instance: In the eternal scheme of things how much will it matter if I am late for church? Is it worth it to get all bent out of shape and flavor the morning with bitterness and contempt? That is a common one, but what about this one: in the eternal scheme of things what is my purpose? By this I mean, do I ever think about my purpose after life here on earth? Have I tried to wrap my noodle around the fact that God has a plan that will either continue or take place after He recreates and everything is restored, and I will be part of that plan?

Eternal man. That's like... forever. I wonder if I were to try to remind myself of the eternal if that would change some things for me? Would I be a better person, a better husband and father, a better servant of God? Is that a beginning, thinking about eternity?

You know what I like about God? Beginnings.