Devotion

I’m just finishing reading the Circle Trilogy by Ted Dekker, so that has some influence on where my heart and mind went while reading this Psalm for devotions…

Psalms 63:1
Oh God, YOU are my God,
Earnestly I seek You; [earnest – sincere and intense conviction]

I long for something so much more than I have inside, than what I see outside. There is little passion in this soul of mine, save that which is desperate for more passion. Can you be passionate about wanting to be more passionate?

(63:1)My soul thirsts for You, [soul – life, mind, heart, passion
My body longs for You, [long for – faint with longing]
In a dry and weary land
Where there is no water.

I love my church, but I hate its lack of expression, vibrancy, and fevered desire for more. We have the Spirit, but where is the wind? Where is the down pour of creative power that pushes us to find more souls out there hurting? As I cry against others I look and see myself sitting down in the sand, content to just wait to be rescued.

(:6) On my bed I remember You;
I think of You through the watches of the night.

I lay there, restless, worried; my mind tossing around, trying to get settled. My heart calls out to Deep. I’m frantic for more of God, I know there’s more

(:7) Because You are my help,
I sing in the shadow of Your wings.

Not on a mountain top, but in a shadow, His shadow, I recite the song of the Great Romance. Only slightly louder than what is required for me to hear. As I feebly hum the cords, His passion floods over me, His heart woos me, pursues me.

(:8) My soul clings to You;
Your right hand upholds me.

Humbly I realize that though I am a man, I am but a small child. In my mind’s eye I see myself clinging to His leg as an unsure and frightened little boy would. Gently, but powerfully, I watch His large, strong hands wrap around my shoulders.

Oh Father, when will I grow up? When will I be the warrior, tall and bold and confident, that You want me to be, that You are making me to be?