Friday, December 02, 2005

Be

In November I attended the NYWC in Nashville. It was a good time, quite possibly a great time. I got to hang out with some of my best friends, hear some good speakers, and get fed professionally and spiritually.

But it wasn’t a mountain top experience. No, I would say that it was a sanctuary experience. It was an extended time in the presence and awareness of God. Rather than running around trying to get to all the seminars and meetings, I walked, listened, prayed. I attended to my soul in the hopes that such a thing would have a positive impact on my ministry back home.

I spent time allowing my soul to cry out to God. I stepped outside my denominational tradition and stretched my experience. I found God in solitude and in the voices of 7,500 youth workers screaming to a David Crowder praise song. I found Him in meditation and in an engaging conversation over Thai food. I found Him in the deep study of a scripture text and in quiet rest on the floor against a wall. I found Him in a professional hockey arena and in an old cathedral.

Through it all I kept thinking about what will happen when I get home, or how I can use this or that. And God kept telling me to enjoy the now. Enjoy the now. I’m much better at evaluating the past or thinking about the future. Enjoy the now. Why? ‘Cause God is in the now, I just need to pay attention.

Part of Enjoy the now is the need to be. Not do, not did. But be and have faith that God will. I have to admit to myself, and God, that I’m weak on faith in that will. Isn’t that my job, to do? And it strikes that maybe I focus too much on what my job is and too little on my being.

Of the things that I learned I hope that one of those I remember will be to be. Be aware of God. Be open to His voice. Be listening for His whisper, smelling for His breath, feeling for His heartbeat. Be. In His presence. Be. With my family. Be. Actively listening to whoever is talking to me. Just be.

Be.